H D Thoreau declared that "most men lead lives of quiet desperation". And I was not different in my youth. The strange thing perhaps is that it was in my youth that I was so desperate, so unhappy. Those who knew me in those days assumed that I was a self-confident, handsome young man. I was intelligent and strong-willed. But none of that is true. I was in fact a scared young man who floated through my days surviving my own self-loathing, self-sabotage and impossibly weak self-esteem. And the sadness of my life was wrapped with a pretty bow titled religious guilt.
The majority of my friends growing up would not say that their experience was the same as my own in spite of our sitting in the same rooms, churches, praying at the same altars. And they are right. Somehow my experience either was not the same or they are not willing to talk about their feelings. But I have to talk about my feelings- I want to face my inner demons (publicly).
This blog is my attempt to reconcile my damaged mind and heart with my fervent belief that something bigger than all of us has to be out there somewhere.
The majority of my friends growing up would not say that their experience was the same as my own in spite of our sitting in the same rooms, churches, praying at the same altars. And they are right. Somehow my experience either was not the same or they are not willing to talk about their feelings. But I have to talk about my feelings- I want to face my inner demons (publicly).
This blog is my attempt to reconcile my damaged mind and heart with my fervent belief that something bigger than all of us has to be out there somewhere.
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